


Or Maybe Twice

by ALilyPea (alilypea)



Series: Carlos Reyes Week 2021 [7]
Category: 9-1-1: Lone Star (TV 2020)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Depression, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 04:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 790
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28968060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alilypea/pseuds/ALilyPea
Summary: Carlos sometimes has hard days, and so does TK, but luckily they had each other.
Relationships: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Series: Carlos Reyes Week 2021 [7]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2114865
Comments: 8
Kudos: 103
Collections: Carlos Reyes Week 2021





	Or Maybe Twice

**Author's Note:**

> This is the sequel to Once Upon a Time.
> 
> TW: Depression, references to drug addiction and overdose

Carlos tucked the phone against his head as he flopped down on his bed. "Sometimes I find it hard to inhibit the space I exist in," he found himself confessing to TK as he sprawled out. It had been a month since they’d met, and he couldn’t believe how much time the two of them spent on the phone.

TK made a humming noise, not acknowledging with words, and Carlos felt warmed just by the mere knowledge that he was being listened to. 

“Everyone in my family is loud, well, my immediate family. They’re all larger than life, and I’m just...me,” Carlos explained, resting a hand on his chest. 

“You have a presence,” TK argued. “Are you okay?” 

Carlos sighed softly. “I am; it’s just been a long day; it’s left me kind of melancholy.”

“Did something happen? A bad call?” TK asked him, voice now filled with worry.

“No, I’d feel better if it was because of that; sometimes I just get like this,” Carlos admitted, unable to explain the gaping emptiness that sometimes opened up inside him. “Been this way my whole life.” 

“I get it,” TK told him, and Carlos would deny the sheer relief he felt at knowing that he wasn’t alone. “There’s stuff we haven’t really talked about; I guess this is one of them.” 

Carlos chuckled to himself and wished that TK was right there with him, not for the first time. “Is that why you don’t think you’re perfect?” He remembered back to their first night together and how TK had shied away from the compliments he’d paid him. 

“I don’t think I’m perfect because no one is perfect, Carlos, not even you,” TK said and laughed softly when Carlos made a wounded noise. “I’ve had some issues in the past,” there was a catch to his voice that made Carlos sit upright. 

“I won’t judge you,” Carlos assured him, his stomach twisting as he sat there and listened to TK’s ragged breathing, his heart aching for his boyfriend. 

“I have had issues with substances in the past,” TK’s voice was a whisper over the line. “I OD’ed.”

Carlos clamped a hand over his mouth, smothering the noise that tried to escape; he closed his eyes and tried to imagine a life without TK in it and hated the mere thought of it. “I’m here. I’m here, and I’m still falling in love with you, and all I want to do right now is wrap my arms around you and hold you tight.” 

He grabbed his pillow and hugged it to his chest, wishing more than anything that TK was there with him. 

“You don’t think I’m weak?” TK asked him, his voice still small.

“I think you’re strong, TK, exceptionally so,” Carlos replied. “I’m not an asshole, and I know what it can take for someone to fall in deep, and I know how hard it can be to pull yourself out when you’re stuck. The fact that you have is a testament to that.” 

“I’m falling in love with you too,” TK said next, his voice more robust, filled with a conviction that made Carlos’ soul soar. 

“It’d be really embarrassing if I were the only one,” Carlos replied, allowing mirth to slip into his voice. “Do you think I’m weak?” 

“No,” TK insisted and made a slight noise of frustration. “I don’t think you’re weak; depression doesn’t make you weak; it just means that you’re tired. And I understand that more than anyone, but it doesn’t mean you should suffer alone. Have you thought about talking to someone?” 

Carlos took a deep breath and closed his eyes past the tears that threatened to slip free. He rubbed his hand over his forehead. “It’s not something we do in my family.” 

“I get it,” TK murmured back to him. “I get it, babe, but please tell me you’ll consider it?” 

“Okay,” Carlos responded, knowing he would insist on TK getting help if he needed it and knowing that it wasn’t like anyone else would ever have to know. Hell, his department insisted on it for the health of their officers. He just wasn’t sure that he could take those steps. “I promise to consider it.” 

“I’ll send you some resources,” TK told him. “Now, let me tell you about the call I had today; I actually got to help a cat out of a tree.”

“No way,” laughter burst from Carlos, and he settled back down on the bed, content to push his dark thoughts aside and focus on some of the good in his life.

And if he called one of the numbers TK sent him the following morning on his day off; he didn’t need to tell anyone.


End file.
